‘Twas the night before my colonoscopy

‘TWAS the night before my colonoscopy
And for more than a bit
I’d had nothing to eat
Not even a chip.

Except to drink something awful
That was bitter, yet sweet
You see I’d gotten so hungry
Even that was a treat.

Of course I saw food
Wherever I looked
On TV, radio, magazines
Even Facebook

That I’d logged on in desperation
To read, and escape
The gnawing sensation
That felt like a gape

Where my stomach had once
Lived quite in bliss
But now was churning
From something amiss

And oh, how all of my friends
Sharing videos by Tasty
Had me crying, and trying
To keep my mind off of pastry

It was no use to think
Of anything else
For just as I finished watching
That sizzling patty melt

My stomach suddenly emptied
And gave such a heave
As the inevitable movement
Made me get up and leave

The cozy, warm couch
I had just settled in
To run to the bathroom
So my guts could begin

What is surely the worst part
Of this medical test
To save you from frowning
I’ll spare the sordid rest

Yet get through this I must
After all, I’m a fighter
And hey, there’s this plus –
I’m about 8 pounds lighter!

So after all the drama and
Discomfort of the prep
It was time to go to sleep
To cruise thru the next step

When the good doctor did
What they get paid to do
To take a look up my bum
See if it’s still good as new

Just like that! it was over
That is, getting my colon neat
Next came the best part of all –

l say it was worth it
To get my bowel checked
You never know what’s in there
And you need to respect

That colon cancer is deadly
A horrible disease
But if found early enough
Can easily be beat

So please do your best
To get yourself seen
And not become a statistic –
Make sure your colon is clean!


Physician. Health Insurance Agent. Author. Health care humorist. Medical satirist. Disruptor. At your service. My name is Kevin Wacasey, and I’ve been practicing medicine since 1994. When I graduated from medical school, I took an oath to do no harm to my patients. To me, that includes financial harm. But since health insurance took over health care over 40 years ago, health care prices have skyrocketed. And despite what we’re told by the media every day, it isn’t the costs of health care that are outrageous; it’s the charges. So if you’ve ever wondered why we spend so much on health insurance and health care, then come along and join me as I explore the crazy world of Healthcareonomics. Health care doesn’t have to be expensive. Let me show you how. For speaking opportunities and to pass along your questions/comments, please email me at drw@healthcareonomics.com.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Next ArticleIs Health Care A Right? Or a Privilege?